Thoughts on moving...

Moving changes everything.  It really does. I like how it forces me out of my comfort zone and begs me to evaluate my life and who I'm becoming.  It gives a fresh start, but like a seedling pushing through the muck and dirt in order to bloom, I too must push through.  I've moved a lot in my lifetime.  Four times that I remember growing up, and 3 of those times were after the age of 13.  I think that makes it harder.  Nate and I have moved 3 times in the last 4 1/2 years. Not a great track record for putting your roots in and yet I see God's hand in each of our moves.  And I've seen Him grow both Nate and I.  Do I like it? Not really.  But refining is sort of like that.

And so here I sit again...at the crossroads of bitterness or betterness, almost a daily struggle.  I've moved enough to know my pattern...sadness, excitement, exhaustion, big plans, more exhaustion, depression, and then somewhere in there contentment, purpose and joy returns, a glimpse of God's bigger plans.  This pattern usually takes me at least a year, sometimes more.

Moving to Little Rock has felt different in a lot of ways.  We are "moving back" in a lot of ways, but after 9 years of being gone it feels less like being back and more like starting over.  I am very thankful for the familiar faces that we've seen so far and the mutual connections that seem to be everywhere.

So who do I want to be in this next chapter?  Where is God directing my heart?  What is He going to do with us here?  I've started to see glimpses and my excitement is brewing.  I know He is up to good things.

I want to share a quick story that I never want to forget.  Nate's first day at Cornerstone was very memorable.  They asked our whole family to attend breakfast as the celebrated Nate's arrival by introducing him to the staff and praying over all of us and eating!  The kids and I went and after the prayer they introduced several other newbies, including a nurse.  That nurse came over to us and introduced herself and then asked Nate, "Are you Halley's dad?"  She continued by explaining that she was a NICU nurse at Children's and had taken care of Halley while she was there.  As she talked I remembered exactly who she was because she had given us a precious memory box to keep all Halley's precious things.  It was so amazing to me that 11 years ago God had knit our heart with hers and now she works at the same place as Nate ministering to women.  I could tell several stories like this of how God has gone before and prepared us for this time!!  He is so good!

So choosing betterness is hard, but I know it's what I want.  I know it pays off in the end.