"But Jesus said, Allow little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 19:14
Someone once asked me if we were trying to "replace Halley and Porter" by trying to have more children. To that person, let me just say, you can never ever replace your baby. There is no substitute that will ever take the place of our sweet Halley Raye. She's the baby that made me a mommy. Eight years later we miss her just the same, almost more. The memories fade a bit, her smell, her noises, her baby movements--but the emotions and connection to that little girl will never lessen. I can't believe it's been 8 years. It doesn't seem possible. At times that seems like a different life millions of years ago. Other times it feels like just yesterday...still so raw. Because of this little life of 2 month we will never be the same. We feel a little deeper, hug a little tighter, love a little stronger, think of heaven a little more.
I received a note in the mail this week. A friend from high school wrote to say how thankful she was for our children. Just a short note about how God's provisions in our family were so evident to her. I couldn't agree more. God didn't have to give us 3 healthy kids. He would have still been God and still been good if He hadn't, yet in his mercy and grace he chose to bless us more than we could ever imagine. Is this God's best for us that Halley died? I believe it is even though I don't understand it or always like it. What I do know is that God has gotten glory from her short life and he will continue to use her for His mission.
Happy Birthday, sweet baby girl.
Happy Birthday, Halley! Thanks for sharing her with us so transparently, Marla. Simple statements are at once the hardest as well as the most profound. I agree with you that somehow, we know God is good. How great is the love He's lavished on us.
ReplyDeleteGod is good. Thank you, Marla, for sharing transparently and allowing us all to grow from such a deep pain. As I navigate my own crisis I often think about the example you were to me and so many others. You set the bar high (exactly where Christ wants it), and I am daily challenged to deal with what seems like insufferable pain in a grace filled way. I remember you dad's advice (I think) to fake it until you mean it. Wow. Sometimes I have a difficult time meaning it enough to even fake it. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry I missed her birthday this year. I didn't know y'all as well back then, but man, it impacted me tons...there are things youve said over the years that come back to me that ive never forgotten. What a sweet baby girl.
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