Thoughts on grief and healing

Today makes seven years ago that we gave birth to our first child. Little did we know that she would change our lives forever. All babies change you, but Halley Raye impacted more people in her 55 days of life than most people do in 55 years. Here's my bullet point thoughts on the past 7 years regarding grief, healing and Halley Raye:

• God uses brokenness. God met us at rock bottom and used it for His glory.
• Sometimes giving God glory maybe all you can do in a situation. We had nothing left to give, only our desire for God to use the situation for His glory.
• It's okay to admit when things stink, really really stink. Wrestling with God is good.
• Grief shows up in the most unsuspecting places...even 7 years later. When I can pin-point my jealousy/bitterness/anger as grief in disguise then I can being healing.
• It's okay to move on. I've struggled with this now that I'm super busy with 3 little ones. I was sick today, we didn't make a cake or do anything very special for Halley other than talk about her precious life. I will not live in guilt. There will be times that we reminince a lot, and times that we don't. That's okay.
• Talking about Halley and Porter in normal life is so good for me...actually fun. Today I got to share her story with a lady at the park. What an honor to talk about her legacy on her actual birthday. I love getting to still talk about her as much as I do about Shepherd, Owen and Marley.
• It means so much when people ask about your kids--living or not. I love that my good friends easily let the name Halley and Porter roll off their tongue. It also means a lot when people remember.
• My prayer life increases when I'm in a valley. I don't want to only cry out to God when I'm desperate.
• And like my dad always said "sometimes you just fake it til you make it". There's value to this. Somedays I just needed to put a smile on...and once that smile was there my attitude and outlook would start to change. But...
• being real in a fake world is invaluable. It's important to let people know where you're at and as a friend, it's important to ask how your loved one is doing.

If you still actually read my blog...thank you. Thank you for caring and thank you for helping us along in this journey.

Happy Birthday, Halley Raye. We miss you and love you.